My name is Chocula. Many ask,"What, exactly, is Chocula Enterprises all about?" Well, it's kind of difficult to explain. Our main HQ is located in Loomis, California, U.S.A., and we've been in operation since time began. Certain news "authorities" would say that were talentless hacks, operating out of a basement, providing news based on fiction, just to get a story and not have to work for it. Well, we DO have talent, so shut it! My team is, simply put, the best that modern journalism could ever hope for, and far better than it deserves. They make sure they're at work and presentable by at least mid afternoon EVERY day. In fact, I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate them all on many a job well done. I'll leave you with one final thought... "Chocula weekly w/url.d newz... better than any newspaper because your hands don't smell like ink afterwards, or maybe they do, that's your business." And no Pinky, you can't have a raise.