Arr Mateys! Ok now that that's all out of the way... Hi, my name is Cap'n Salty. Am I a pirate? Yes. Do I talk like a movie pirate? NO! But it was very clear in my contract that "any pirates are to conform to the rules set in the C.P.O. (Chocula Piracy Obligations) section of the 'I'm a team player' handbook". This basically said I have to talk in Hollywood pirate slang at least once every conversation. Whatever makes 'em happy.

     All that aside, I love the ocean. The smell of rotting seagulls and the joy of dumping sand out of my boot after a long day on the beach. I'm Cap'n of the 'Nutter-Butter'. Takes a crew of 42 to run smoothly. Most are there to stand in a line from the kitchen and pass me sammiches.

     Many people say that copying software and videos is a crime, but I ask you, isn't it also a crime for a company to charge what they do nowadays for a reproduction of their product. I'm not stealing anything from anyone, I'm not profiting from their product, I am merely duplicating for personal use. Yes I'm a criminal. My crime is that of owning two VCR's. I am a pirate, and this is my manifesto. Thank you drive thru.